Hey LaShonda, I would really like your input on my situation. Ok, I've been with my dude for four years. We met when we were both freshmans in College. However, I recently graduated, he dropped out the second semester of our freshman year. Throughout College, I was on bum status lol, eating noodles and scraping money to pay my bills. Although my man was no longer in College, he was also scraping change together to pay the little bills that he had so I never thought too much into him being stable since I was in College living life on a whim as well. I honestly believe that he's my soulmate, everything about us just clicks. We have fun together, we can talk about anything and he knows me better than anyone else and vice versa. The problem is, I have my B.A. in Accounting and has since landed a blossoming position at an Accounting Firm. My babe on the other hand has been hopping from gig to gig, the latest one being a damn TATTOO SHOP! He doesn't even know how to do tattoos!! He has no goals, no plans, he's just floating through life aimlessly. The even bigger problem is that I allowed him to move into my apartment and it's starting to really annoy me to come home and see him laying on the couch, watching TV or playing video games. My girls say that I'm being too nice and that what we had in the past was puppy love and I need to let go. They're always preaching about how I really need a real MAN. I kinda agree but how can I just kick my babe out knowing he has nowhere to go? What do you think? This has been bothering me for a few months now and I really need to make a decision.
You definitely sound like a loyal girlfriend. You stuck with your man when he decided to surrender his education and just bum it up and go nowhere fast. It takes a WHOLE lot of patience to deal with that. However, sometimes being loyal can be good and bad. When you have the amazing ability to be loyal (because a lot of hoes, I mean chicks, ain't built with loyalty traits) then you must choose to be loyal to the RIGHT person. I'm not saying your man is the wrong person but at this point y'all are both grown. You're not in college anymore, you have entered the real world and bills are REAL. Bills can't be paid off of his "potential" to do better. Having a freeloader invade your crib is not a good look. I believe in both parties bringing something to the table even if he isn't the breadwinner. It's time for him to be real about his future, you mentioned that he had no goals and no expectations, well tell homeboy it's time to get some, simple as that. If he objects to not finding something stable and continue the trait of starting something and quitting then kicking him out is his problem, not yours. It's not your fault that he has no place to go, you worked hard so that you DO have a place to go, sleep, eat and sh*t. It's his turn! You have to put your foot down or things won't change, point blank. I seriously wish you the best of luck because you seem to really love him. This could end up being a beautiful love story since you have so much history together. But if he doesn't try harder then you have to exercise some tough love and kick him OUT. Maybe then he would try harder... Wish you both well & happy New Year!
LaShonda
Send your relationship submission to LaShonda here --->lashondadevaughn@yahoo.com
