#RelationshipWed!!!

Hello my fabulous readers!! Y'all have been submitting some really interesting stories, stories that could relate to so many others going through the same issues and I would like to thank y'all for trusting me and letting me share your stories with my other readers. Not to mention the feedback I'm getting from my male readers, they are loving it as well! Relationship Wed's is taking off thanks to all of you...Check out today's issue:

Hey LaShonda, I really need some advice. I've been dating my boyfriend for about eight months now and on the surface it seems like we have the perfect relationship. My friends envy our relationship because we are always together and our chemistry is more than on point. But when you peel away the layers of our relationship, you will find that I have major issues with our situtiation. Okay, I know you won't judge me because I've read the Hood Chick's Series so I know you know about this life lol, but my first boyfriend was a drug dealer. He made alot of money on a daily basis and he spoiled me rotten! My bills were paid and he brought me designer everything. Unfortunately he got locked up and I found out he was cheating on me and we ended up parting ways. My next boyfriend played semi-pro ball and although he wasn't a millionaire, he still splurged on me and I got used to the lifestyle of having a man who was made. Well he ended up cheating on me as well and it took me a while to get over him but I got through it. So herein lies the problem with my new man.... I know I may sound superficial but I mean, he works for Directv, barely could pay his own bills let alone help me out with mine. He has a ton of debt which means EVERYTHING including his car is in my name. Recently he's been hinting around about a ring, (which I doubt he could afford a ring that I would want) but I don't know if I will be able to marry someone who isn't financially stable. Don't get me wrong, he's such a great guy. He has never cheated on me, he treats me like a Queen, rubs my feet and he can cook his a**off. But I guess I'm just used to the lifestyle of being financially sound. I will feel like an a**hole leaving him just because he doesn't make enough money but I didn't know how much this would affect the way I feel about him. I don't want to cheat on him but I would be lying if I said that I would turn down a man who brought more to the table because I wouldn't. I do really love my man but times are hard and I know that he's trying, but trying isn't enough. If our relationship stays like this, I'm afraid I may be turning down that ring.  What do you think, advice please??



Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger! Lol, just playing babe, I had to do it, lol!...But let's get serious for a moment..This is actually an easy one...
Alright, here is your track record---> You had two boyfriends who spoiled you rotten but broke your heart in the end, now you found a GOOD man who doesn't spoil you superficially but cherishes your heart, treats you like a Queen AND wants to put a ring on it. Honeyyy, do you know how many women search their entire lives trying to find a good man who they share chemistry with, is faithful, respects them AND treats them like a QUEEN? And you are really willing to throw all of that away because his check is too short? Sounds a little selfish to me. I know it's hard to transition from a particular lifestyle when you're used to it, but all the riches in the world don't mean shyt if you ain't with the right man! Have you thought of encouraging him to further his education, or possibly moving up in the company he currently works for? You stated that you know he's trying and that it wasn't enough. But honey, since when was trying NOT enough? How about you try treating him like a teammate instead of someone who is supposed to finance your lifestyle. It's not all about you. Trust me, it isn't a wise decision to discard a GOOD man because he isn't meeting your financial quota; you could end up regretting it. True enough, you could possibly leave him and meet a man with the riches you desire, but there is also a chance that you could get your heart broken again. With your current man, you already know what you're dealing with; a faithful man who loves you. My advice is to work on your situation, give him some suggestions and encourage him to put it into action. If encouraging him to work on the future for the both of you is too much for you, then maybe it's YOU who don't deserve HIM.. Good luck.

Submit your relationship question or issue to LaShonda, here--> www.lashondadevaughn.com

#RelationshipWed's!!

Hey y'all!! I really enjoyed all the feedback I got from last week's #RelationshipWed post. I could already tell that we are gonna keep our Wed's poppin on this blog! Be sure to subscribe so that you will be notified about new posts.. Keep sending in your questions and I'm going to do my best to get back to everyone and hopefully have your question or issue posted here on my blogsite... Here is today's relationship issue...

**LaShonda, I just finished reading I'd Rather Be Single and I cried through the entire book. Not necessarily because of the stories but because of the title itself. I'm currently engaged to my soul mate. We are slated to get married in March 2013. Recently my best friend told me that my fiance has tried to hit on her on more than one occasion; twice being drunken nights. She even said he groped her ass! He's obsessed with big asses, which I don't have at all and I have caught him staring at hers before. I've been friends with my best friend since we were five years old, so I have no reason to question if she is lying to me or not. She was crying her eyes out when she told me about it. Here's my thing, I borrowed seven thousand dollars from my mom and his parents gave us five grand for the wedding. Most of that money is already accounted for and I've spent so much time making sure this would be my dream wedding that I can't function right now. Should I call the wedding off? Do I leave my soul mate for trying to holla at my best friend and choose to be single? He keeps asking me what's wrong when I burst out in tears but I don't have the balls to confront him about it. I just keep telling him that the stress of the wedding has been getting to me. I really need advice, I'm losing my mind right now...Any advice would be helpful.**

Wow...This is a tough one, but lets lay out all the facts. Your "soul mate" tried to holla at your best friend since childhood, sneaks stares at her ass and possibly groped it as well. Hmm, I'm wondering how long your best friend held onto this information. On the other hand I'm pretty sure she probably wanted to get it off her chest before you jumped the broom with this man. Now, I don't know your best friend but you seem to trust what she says and if that's the case, read the second sentence in this paragraph over again (I underlined it). Is that who you want to marry? What if your best friend was a slut and gave into his advances, then what? His first violation is hollaring at your BEST FRIEND!! That's entirely too close to home, that means he doesn't respect your relationship with her or your relationship with him. In the words of Tamar Braxton, HE TRIED IT!!! He straight violated your relationship not just one time, but she said he tried it multiple times. That means it was no accident, drunken nights or not, he knew exactly what he was doing and what his main objective was. And I'm assuming it was to get into your friend's panties if she let him. Think about this, he could be doing the same thing to another woman with a "fat ass" who isn't this close to home and it could possibly go down. And girl you would probably never know about it! He already proved that he isn't trustworthy by hollaring at your girl so I wouldn't put it past him to try it elsewhere. Not only that but you said that you don't have the balls to confront him about this issue so if you found out that he's done something else, are you going to hold that in as well? You will only find yourself falling apart, mentally and emotionally and you don't deserve that. It's not good for your health.
            I understand your issue about the money you borrowed from both of your families but please think about the bigger picture. Don't get too wrapped up in having your "dream wedding" that you ignore the red flags and end up in a trust-less marriage. Money can always be replaced, you can always repay them for the wedding costs, but a broken heart leaves scars for life! It also consumes valuable time you could spend on the right person, someone who values your worth or even time working on yourself. Life is too short to gamble with your heart, especially when you already know some of the possible outcomes when dealing with this man.... I would never be the one to tell someone directly to call off their wedding, but please do me a favor and dig into the core of your strength and do what's right for you. You've been reading "I'd Rather Be Single" and crying off the title alone, so I think you know what's best for you. Good luck...

**Submit your relationship issue/questions to lashondadevaughn@yahoo.com**

Writing Tip Of The Week!!

Hey everyone!! Your girl is just getting back from Punta Cana!! Yes, I was in the Dominican Republic taking in some sun as well as taking in new inspiration for new stories... I'm still exhausted but the trip was well worth it... Anyway, I had to drop in and give y'all the tip of the week. Here is the question:

*Do Authors need to have a website in order to be successful?* 

The answer to that question is NO. With all the social networks such as Facebook, Twitter & Instagram, etc., websites are no longer needed to keep an Author's career afloat. Social networks allow Authors to get intimate with their readers and really connect with them. Websites are good for business purposes. For instance if your goal is not only to become an Author but to also become a Publisher, then by all means, create a website. Publishers need their websites to display their books, their Authors and to accept submissions. Your company may even sell other items such as T-shirts with the book covers or tote-bags with the titles on them. So the answer to the question is no, you do not need a website. If you choose to create one, that's great, but is it needed, no....

**Here are some snapshots of the view I took while in Punta Cana.... Every Author should travel outside of their element for new inspiration. It definitely gets your creative juices flowing. Especially when you have those spells of writers block, we all know how dreadful that could be #UGH.com! Till next time, keep writing yall!!

Introducing #RelationshipWednesdays!!

Alright, I've been getting emails for some time now from readers encouraging me to blog about relationships since I write books on relationship topics. Makes sense right? My last few books, "I'd Rather Be Single", "If All Men Cheat, All Women Should Too!" & "When A Woman's Fed Up" are definitely relationship based and are all VERY relatable..That being said, I'm finally buckling down and making it happen!...Introducing -->#RelationshipWednesdays! Every Wed I'm going to answer your questions & emails on different relationship issues right here on my blog! So buckle your seat belts because I won't sugarcoat anything and it's definitely going to get real! But hey, that's the only way I know how to be.. Hope you enjoy my relationship blogs, feel free to chime in. Let's get it ladies!! Here goes....

"LaShonda I've been with my man for four years, I caught him cheating twice during our relationship with the same girl. I recently found out that he was messing around with her again and I'm devastated. I finally broke up with him but I feel like I'm letting her win. I've tried to contact him to tell him that we need to talk but he's been ignoring me and my heart is broken. What can I do to get him back?"

Whaaaaat!?!??? Okay honey, I'm going to give it to you with no chaser. I understand that you're heart broken because you gave this man four years of your life, but why would you want this wack ass CLOWN back when he's cheated on you the entire time? He has no respect for you or for her! You obviously have no respect for yourself either if you want someone who blatantly cheats and disrespects you back in your life. You have to love yourself more than you love a man. It takes some women longer than others to get to that point but it's been four years for you, four years that you CAN'T get back by the way. Don't give him any more of your good years. If letting him go makes you feel like ol' girl won, then let that hoe WIN! In actuality she's LOSING because she's stuck with a loser who doesn't know how to be faithful. Cut your loses honey. Be done with him for good. Doing the same thing more than once and expecting a different result is called INSANITY! Don't drive yourself crazy over him, he's NOT worth it; you deserve better.. I'll leave you with this, a man that breaks your heart is practice until your KING comes along. Staying with him will only delay your chances of meeting that KING! Good luck....

LaShonda,

Submit your relationship question/issue for #RelationshipWednesday to LaShonda here---> lashondadevaughn@yahoo.com

Booksigning @ Frugal Bookstore #Boston

What's poppin yall!!! Man, I've been such a busy chick lately.. I think I'm the official President of #TeamNoSleep lol...Seriously, I've been working around the clock...Writing, publishing, promoting (When A Woman's Fed Up.. go cop that ;)) and everything that comes along with it. In between it all, you know I always have time for my readers!! I just recently hit up Frugal Bookstore in Boston and it was crazy! Needless to say, we got it poppin! Special shout out to all my readers, family and friends who came out to support. Booksignings to our readers are like artists and concerts. We get to be in the same vicinity of the people who love and support our craft and I enjoy chopping it up and kicking it with my readers. Hope to meet you in the next city ;). In the meantime your girl is hard at work producing more good stories for your reading pleasure. Till next time..Muah!