**LaShonda, I just finished reading I'd Rather Be Single and I cried through the entire book. Not necessarily because of the stories but because of the title itself. I'm currently engaged to my soul mate. We are slated to get married in March 2013. Recently my best friend told me that my fiance has tried to hit on her on more than one occasion; twice being drunken nights. She even said he groped her ass! He's obsessed with big asses, which I don't have at all and I have caught him staring at hers before. I've been friends with my best friend since we were five years old, so I have no reason to question if she is lying to me or not. She was crying her eyes out when she told me about it. Here's my thing, I borrowed seven thousand dollars from my mom and his parents gave us five grand for the wedding. Most of that money is already accounted for and I've spent so much time making sure this would be my dream wedding that I can't function right now. Should I call the wedding off? Do I leave my soul mate for trying to holla at my best friend and choose to be single? He keeps asking me what's wrong when I burst out in tears but I don't have the balls to confront him about it. I just keep telling him that the stress of the wedding has been getting to me. I really need advice, I'm losing my mind right now...Any advice would be helpful.**
Wow...This is a tough one, but lets lay out all the facts. Your "soul mate" tried to holla at your best friend since childhood, sneaks stares at her ass and possibly groped it as well. Hmm, I'm wondering how long your best friend held onto this information. On the other hand I'm pretty sure she probably wanted to get it off her chest before you jumped the broom with this man. Now, I don't know your best friend but you seem to trust what she says and if that's the case, read the second sentence in this paragraph over again (I underlined it). Is that who you want to marry? What if your best friend was a slut and gave into his advances, then what? His first violation is hollaring at your BEST FRIEND!! That's entirely too close to home, that means he doesn't respect your relationship with her or your relationship with him. In the words of Tamar Braxton, HE TRIED IT!!! He straight violated your relationship not just one time, but she said he tried it multiple times. That means it was no accident, drunken nights or not, he knew exactly what he was doing and what his main objective was. And I'm assuming it was to get into your friend's panties if she let him. Think about this, he could be doing the same thing to another woman with a "fat ass" who isn't this close to home and it could possibly go down. And girl you would probably never know about it! He already proved that he isn't trustworthy by hollaring at your girl so I wouldn't put it past him to try it elsewhere. Not only that but you said that you don't have the balls to confront him about this issue so if you found out that he's done something else, are you going to hold that in as well? You will only find yourself falling apart, mentally and emotionally and you don't deserve that. It's not good for your health.
I understand your issue about the money you borrowed from both of your families but please think about the bigger picture. Don't get too wrapped up in having your "dream wedding" that you ignore the red flags and end up in a trust-less marriage. Money can always be replaced, you can always repay them for the wedding costs, but a broken heart leaves scars for life! It also consumes valuable time you could spend on the right person, someone who values your worth or even time working on yourself. Life is too short to gamble with your heart, especially when you already know some of the possible outcomes when dealing with this man.... I would never be the one to tell someone directly to call off their wedding, but please do me a favor and dig into the core of your strength and do what's right for you. You've been reading "I'd Rather Be Single" and crying off the title alone, so I think you know what's best for you. Good luck...
**Submit your relationship issue/questions to lashondadevaughn@yahoo.com**
Oh no! Let that go!! If he's doing it now to your BEST FRIEND, he will go so much further with a random chick that doesn't know or care to know about you. Yes you borrowed money but trust me, if you explain to your mom why you've called the wedding off she will probably give you another five grand! Don't let the fantasy wedding blind you to the warning signs. If you marry him, you are only setting yourself up for a either a failed marriage or a miserable one.
ReplyDelete